MyChildren MyBride Unbreakable

Tracklist:
1. Faithless
2. On The Wings of Integrity
3. The Machinist
4. Headshot!
5. Boris the Blade
6. Severance
7. Versus
8. Waves of Oppression
9. Circle the Sky
10. Choke

Release Date: 02/26/2008

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Originality appears to be fairly hard to find in modern music today. It seems that shortly before and since the turn of the century, most new styles or genres have either been variations on already established formulas (sung choruses in metalcore) or combinations of ones evolving on their own (the recent “deathcore” trend). Not too often do we find a band that is going to tread their own path in the untouched areas of originality.

Metalcore has become almost completely devoid of originality in recent years, with just about every band copying either Converge, Botch or Killswitch Engage (and perhaps somebody else). There doesn’t seem to be much one can do to be original besides adding electronic or symphonic elements. Just about everyone has been beating a dead horse for several years, and for quite some time it’s smelled really, really bad.

If you’re looking for interesting metalcore, well, look elsewhere. Unbreakable is easily one of the worst coma-inducing albums I’ve heard in a while, so much that getting in two full listens is a painful experience. If you think I’m exaggerating, let me state what might be its most fatal flaw: the breakdowns are the worst part.

The performances on Unbreakable are pretty forgettable at best. Yeah, MyChildren MyBride can play their instruments, but only with average skill in their genre. The guitarists come up with decent riffs for most of the album, but when they sound like just about every other guitar duo in the genre, it’s hard to find anything the two should be praised for. Close to half the guitar parts are palm-muted bottom string pedaling, and despite being parts of actual riffs, it’s a bit tiring how much the guitarists repeat themselves throughout the album. As with most metalcore bands, the bass is completely lost amidst the almost constant firestorm of guitars, drums and screaming. There are no clean, acoustic or melodic sections to be found on Unbreakable, and thus no opportunity to hear the bassist play on his own. Upon turning up the album full blast, it becomes clear that the bass simply follows whatever the guitars are doing.

To say that vocalist Matthew Hastings is bad is certainly too harsh, the man’s screaming is more than tolerable for the record’s 38-minute duration. However, he certainly exhibits little talent, barely changing pitch at all from the low growl/scream which helps drive the music. Drummer Brian Hood might just be the only talented member of the band, laying down a few good double bass patterns and backing his band with pounding percussion, quick fills and blast beats.

As mentioned before, MyChildren MyBride just cannot write breakdowns to save their life. Every one is played at the same tempo, with the drummer slowly hitting the same cymbal with the guitars chugging away. Instead of getting any sort of emotional rise out of the song’s climax, the exact opposite happens. Things would probably work better having a clean interlude every third or fourth track, since the verses end up being quite a bit more interesting.

“Well, what about the lyrics? Is there poetic genius being screamed amidst the chaos?” Not really. When lines like
“If seeing is believing then they've gouged out all their own eyes”
and “These waves keep tormenting, crashing down on everything I have left” constitute highlights among the rest of the lyrics, it speaks volumes about the mediocre quality of everything else. “Headshot!” is about – you guessed it – a first person shooter, more specifically, the insanely popular Halo.

“I am the master chief
No one can mess with me
Saving the world from catastrophe
Unleashin' BXR's and killing sprees

Let’s start a match, Team Slayer on Lockout
Battle rifles blazin', you're gonna get knocked out
Turn the corner, and im'a stick you right in da' grill
Gettin’ no scoped beat down, I’m one in a mill'

…Team skirmish CTF on Zanzibar,
Capturing flags, gettin’ my battle scars
Time to defend, I’m bustin’ heads with my shotgun
Second round secured, another battle won”

Being a writer myself, I can’t help but think of the epic scope and exciting opportunities the Halo universe provides, and “Headshot!” completely passes up the chance to be anything but immature.

I know that I’ve probably been beating the mediocrity of this like a dead horse, but upon a full listen to Unbreakable I hope others would agree. The ten songs contained within (which are more or less copies of each other) do nothing more than put one to sleep. We’ve seen it done before, much better by some and not [quite] as badly by most. To say that this is ‘average’ is too generous – it’s just plain bad in almost every aspect.